A funny story related to Big Data analytics

Dalla bacheca di un mio amico…
– Hello! Gordon’s pizza?

– No sir it’s Google’s pizza.

– So it’s a wrong number?

– No sir, Google bought it.

– OK. Take my order please 

– Well sir, you want the usual?

– The usual? You know me?

– According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust

– OK! This is it

– May I suggest to you this time zucchini with dry tomato?

– What? I hate vegetables

– Your cholesterol is not good

– How do you know?

-through the subscribers guide

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years

– Okay, but I do not want this pizza,I already take medicine

-you have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network

– I bought more from another drugstore

– It’s not showing on your credit card

– I paid in cash

– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

– I have have other source of cash

– This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source

-WHAT THE HELL?

– Enough! I’m sick of google, facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me

– I understand sir but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago”